Spinach-Bacon Quiche

1/2 cup butter
1/2 cup flour
1 1/2 cups milk
2 1/2 cups cottage cheese
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon Dijon mustard
9 eggs
1 1/2 packages cream cheese, softened
3 cups (12 oz) Swiss cheese
1/3 cup Parmesan cheese
1 pound bacon, cooked and crumbled
3/4 package frozen spinach, thawed
1/2 onion, finely diced

Melt butter in saucepan. Stir in flour, cook and stir until bubbly. Gradually add milk, cook over medium heat until sauce thickens. Remove from heat and let cool. Combine cottage cheese, baking powder, salt and mustard, set aside. In a large mixing bowl, beat the eggs. Slowly add cream cheese, cottage cheese, and sauce mixture. Fold in Parm, Swiss, bacon, spinach and onion. Poor into two greased 10 inch pie plates. Bake at 350 for 40 minutes or until knife inserted into the center comes out clean. Top with fresh slices of tomato. Serve immediately with mimosas and coffee to your nearest and dearest friends.

Pasta Bolganese

I don't know how authentic this was but it was incredible. So, my version of Pasta Bolagese

1 lb ground turkey (or beef)
2 cloves garlic (or a spoonful of the pre-chopped kind)
3 carrots
1 stalk of celery
1/2 and onion
1/4 of a red pepper
1 cup dry white wine (or sake)
1 small can tomato paste
2 cups chicken broth
1 cup cream or milk
fresh basil
fresh Parmesan
1 bag of pasta

Brown turkey in skillet. Chop all vegtables and place in another large skillet with olive oil and saute over medium heat for 7-8 minutes, till just soft. Add wine and reduce down for 4-5 minutes. Add tomato paste as stir till combined. Add meat and chicken broth. Simmer over medium heat until reduced and thickened, about ten minutes. Add milk or cream and cook for a minute longer, just to heat up the milk. server over pasta Top with freshly cut basil and shredded Parm. Enjoy your super tasty dinner and rocking culinary skills.

FYI - we love fresh Parmesan cheese but don't have a grater, we like the big slices, so we buy whole chunks of parm cheese and use our potato peeler to slice paper-thin slices off the block. The flavor difference between that and the pre-shredded stuff is phenomenal. It only takes another minute or so and it is so worth it.

Something to Live For

I know us punk rock types aren't supposed to really want family and kids. I mean, sometimes it happens that we get surprised with a pregnancy and then we raise our kids with mokawks and skull and crossbone onesies while rocking them to the Ramones and the Descendants. But truly, this is what we were designed to do. Have kids. I mean, it's the biological purpose of sex. To procreate. And maybe having kids isn't right for you, but for me, it's something to live for. It's not always fun, it's almost never glamorous or cool, it's dirty, tiring and frustrating. But I look at my little one asleep in my arms and I love her so much it makes me want to cry. I look at the things we sacrifice in our budget to provide for our kids and I know that it's all worth it. And if I have to spend a Saturday at Chuck E Cheeses or read one more book before bedtime or have a dirty house cause there's no time to clean, it's okay. Because I am doing my best to make sure this kids grow up happy and healthy and can do anything that they want too.

Roxi was four weeks old yesterday. We dedicated her to God in front of our family and friends yesterday. I got to thinking about her birth. I was looking at my 'wall of fame', a collection of random pictures from the last 15 years in odd, mismatched frames. Close to 20 different photos, mostly of me and my friends and family. I was thinking that I almost died 4 weeks ago. I wasn't really ready to admit it when it first happened, but looking back, I know that it really did happen. So I was looking at these photos and thinking about dying and thinking about what it would have been like to have all those photos come to an end. Does that make sense? I record my life through a camera lens. I think we all know I take way too many pictures. I have too many family photos on the walls at home. But I love them. How weird would it be for them to just stop.

My mom was going to get a foster baby that had been shaken and beaten pretty badly, might not make it. 2 months old. And I looked at Roxi and thought "what if someone snuffed your life out?" All those moments I've shared with Ashley that I would never get to see with Roxi. And what about Ash? What if she died at age 5 and I never got to see her go to high school or get married or have her own kids and career and life?

Life really is such a magical, amazing gift. We go through each day not really realizing how lucky we are to be here, and how many people are watching us, are being blessed by us, that we are still here. You might not think your life is much, but to someone else, your life is everything. To your mom, dad, best friends, who knows who else, watching you be alive is phenomenal.

Don't really know where I'm going here, just ranting really.

On a side note, talking to a friend the other day about my delivery. I told her I would definitely do something like a birthing center next time and she just laughed and told me no way a birthing center would take me. "Why?" I asked. "Honey, she said, you are a high-risk pregnancy. You have to be in a hospital from now on." I denied being high risk for a while, but she convinced me. It kinda floored me. I never thought of myself as high risk, even after what happened. I guess I still kinda think I'm invincible, that the rules probably don't apply to me, if I just set my mind to it, I'll be fine. I am a very stubborn person, you know. So anyway. I'll admit it. I am high risk. But don't try to talk me into an epidural. That is just going too far :)

Roxi Ophelia Simmons

Well, they never said having kids was easy right?

Little Miss Roxi was sure taking her own sweet time getting here, but for many many reasons, I don't believe that inducing a healthy pregnancy just for the convince or comfort of the mother is the right thing to do. God designed our bodies and He knows what He's doing, so unless there is a true medical reason for it, just let nature do it's job. So I was due Feb 12. It was now Feb 20th. I was sitting at home all day with Ash, Brian was gone till about 430. I was so so pregnant and miserable and we just had to get out of the house. Enter Chuck E Cheese's. Where $15 buys you 100 tokens and hours of entertainment for the kiddo. So off we go. Some lady in line asks me when I'm due. I tell her "last week" She can't believe it. I really tall, so I hid my babies up in my torso pretty good, so I never look as pregnant as I am.

While we're there I keep getting contractions, which really isn't all that odd, I've been getting them for weeks ow, progressively stronger. It's hard to tell if these are still braxton-hicks, or if they're really going somewhere. So I'm finally so miserable, we get cotton candy and go home. I lay on the couch for 45 minutes timing things. Brian gets home. We time some more. Yes, they are definitely 7-8 minutes apart. Yes, they definitely hurt. Pretty sure this is the real deal. So I get up and make supper, try to get Avatar to finish burning, cause I think I'd like to watch that tonight. After supper I call Fran, my midwife. She tells me to head over to my folks and try and take a nap before things get real bad. We pack our bags, put food out for the cats, grab the dogs and head over. It's been snowing and freezing rain for the last 4 hours, so we get stuck in all this traffic because of the 5 accidents we see on the way over. Sitting in a car is not a fun place to have contractions, mind you.

We get to my folks and I try to lay down. The contractions are getting stronger. I have one, then another one almost right away, I decide to time them and they are now 3 minutes apart. The sleep thing is definitely not happening. I call Fran back, since she lives in Lawrence, almost an hour away, and with the weather and all I want her to have plenty of time to get here. It's about 8:30. She heads out, I go to take a bath. The hot water helps a lot. I find that if I lean forward and rock a bit, it helps me relax through the contractions and eases the pain. I'm in there for about an hour when my folks get home. I get out. Laura shows up and my mother-in-law Jeannie. Fran makes great time and gets here by 10. She has another girl due 3 days after I was. She got a page from her 15 minutes before getting to my house. What are the odds, she's in labor too? But Fran ia already here, so we get her :)

So things get more and more intense. Fran suggests I get into the tub again. I do and it helps. Then things get really intense. We start to hit transition. Brian is in the tub with me and I have to throw up. He really, really, doesn't do well with that. SHe he's got his head down and his ears plug's as Fran holds a bowl for me. Neat. Nothing like spousal bonding over puking in a hot tub during labor.

around 11:45, I decide I need to stand up. The tub isn't doing it for me. So I get out, walk/crawl around a bit to find a position that I like. I end up with Brian sitting on a chair and me kneeling in front of him, leaning on his legs with my arms wrapped around his torso for support. It was great. It was hard to hold myself up because I was so tired. I have visions of just getting this kid out then face planting onto the floor to sleep. It sounds so nice. But back to reality, I am pulling muscles in my legs and arms from straining. I really want to sit down, but I know that I won't be anymore comfortable. So I keep it up. I'm trying to push as hard as I can, but I'm just so tired. It's so hard, because you just know you have to push push push and keep going.. There is no break, there is no rest. Finally I feel her drop down into my birth canal. Ladies, I cannot imagine having an epidural and not feeling this. It hurts, yes, but it is the most amazing, insane, breathtaking feeling in the world. And at the time, it feels damn good cause you know it's almost over. So finally, finally her head comes out and of course, she's got a had up by it. The shoulders won't come out with that arm there, so Fran has to try to push the arm back in. This was probably the hardest part of the whole thing. And unfortunately, this also causes me to tear in about three different spots. I'll leave it at that. Did I mention that Fran keeps getting pages from the other couple and is talking to them on the phone while delivering my baby? That woman in nuts.

So Roxi makes her entrance at 12:57 am, Sunday Feb 21. She is 9 pounds, 7 ounces. I am in awe that I had a second baby that size. Awe. And she has a ton of hair. And it's curly! She I hold her in my lap to wait for the cord to quit pulsing. Basically, the cord continues to deliver blood to the baby after delivery for 5-ten minutes. If you cut that cord prematurely, like they don the hospitals, your baby loses out on about 30% of their blood flow. Turns out I have a very, very short cord. Which may play into what happens later. She she can't really go anywhere but on my lap. So everyone ohhs and ahhs over her. Ash comes in. We all smile and take pictures. We finally cut the cord and pass baby off to adoring grandparents. My placenta still needs to come out. After it does, the uterus should clamp down and stop the blood flow that has been going into baby, but now that baby is gone, needs to stay in me. My placenta is about half out. Ash is very intrigued by this. She keeps getting closer and closer and and asking tons of questions. Then everything finally comes out and with it a lot of blood. Ash goes "I got some on my face!" My dad says "I'll wipe it off for you" she says "That's okay, I already did." Nothing phases this girl.

Unfortunately, a little too much blood came out. Quite a bit. So I start to feel really warm, and light headed and my ears start ringing. I say "I'm going to pass out" As I go down I hear Fran say "I need a 911 call". I wasn't out for long, but I remember feeling like I was just napping. I came too and all these people are yelling at me and I just keep thinking Why are they yelling at me? Then I remember everything. They get me a pillow and get me laid down on the floor. Fran is massaging my uterus, which entails her pushing really really hard on my abdomen. It hurts. After what I've just done, this is really really not fun. And everyone just keeps yelling at me. So then the paramedics get there and put me on some oxygen and off we go. They get an iv in me in the ambulance. And they keep asking my lots of questions. Brian told me later that I was so white, even my lips where white. When we get to the hospital they keep remarking on my color. I keep telling them I cultivate that pale look, but they weren't buying it.

Gets a little graphic here - So pretty soon I have three iv's in me and an ob nurse has her hand all the way up me, cleaning out the rest of the placenta and they're massaging my stomach again. When they do this, it gets my uterus to contract, which slows the bleeding. They put me on a full drip of Pitosin which chemically makes this happen. I look over at the ambulance gurney and see pools of blood on it, which scares me a little bit, but the ringing in my ears has stopped and pretty soon they say I'm stable and send me off to the ob floor. They want an ob doc to take a look at me and stitch me up. We get to the room around 3:00. They decide Roxi can stay (she's not a patient, I am) as long as someone stays with me. Brian and my mom stay. So I dose for a bit but they keep coming in to check my blood pressure and stuff. Finally, at 6:30 am the doc shows up. She stitches me up, among other things that I won't go into detail here, and I'm pretty sure it's was more painful than the actual delivery. I know I yelled more then than I did at the delivery. So she's finally done and I can go to bed. It was kinda funny because Brian had passed out about an hour ago and didn't wake up at all during the whole process. Mom was there and held my hand, which was great.

The nurses really where wonderful at St Lukes. I expected a lot of flak for the whole home birth thing, but everyone was really great about it. They asked a few questions, but no one gave me grief. I think the doc who stitched me up was a little irritated, but she didn't say anything. It was just her attitude. They asked how long I wanted to stay, I told them I'd like to go back home as soon as possible. They said most people stay for a couple of day, but I'd rather chill at home than in a hospital with a bunch of ivs and crappy food. They told me that they would give me blood transfusion if my hemoglobin got below 8. The last time they tested me it was at 7.9, but by the time they came back in to tell me, I was feeling much better, haven eaten a bagel and taken a bath, so they went ahead and let me go, which kinda surprised me, but there doesn't seem to be much rhyme or reason to a lot of what they do.

So I went back home around 12. The last few days have been a lot of resting. I get stronger everyday. Roxi is great. A dream baby. Sunday night Brian was up with her till 2, then he went to sleep, she woke up again at 3, so I had her from 3-4, then she went back to sleep and we all slept till 7. Really not bad for a newborn. Last night, my milk came in, so I never even had to get out of bed. I just rolled over from side to side and she nursed while we all slept. I woke up a lot, but never having to actually get out of bed, amazing.

So, home birth. It was wonderful. Except for the almost dying part. But we really couldn't have known about that. There's a lot of different things that could have caused it, big baby, short umbilical cord, heredity. Brian says no more babies. We'll see about that. But I'm pretty sure my family will not let me do another home birth. I don't really know how things looked through their eyes that night, but it must have really scared them. But the important thing is, I'm here and healthy. There was a lot of praying going on that night, and a lot of prayer leading up to it. But during the birth, being able to move around the house as I wanted, getting comfortable however I wanted, even having my dog there with me, all these things made for a really wonderful birth experience. Even how I feel afterward, especially down there, I feel so much better. Much less pain, which really surprised me. When my mom told me what things looked like when they were stitching, I expected much worse. So I am recovering very nicely and have a beautiful new baby girl. I will be at my parents house probably till Friday, feel free to stop by and see us :)

Brian asked if I wanted his version of the events. I said "sure". He said "No more babies, the end"

We'll see.